1. Pick out one person. For about a week, always have a hard-boiled egg with you. Toss it around. Drop it in front of the person, tell them that it's a special magic egg that can't break. Do this all week. Then get a raw egg and toss it around. Ask them if they want to, "Don't worry," you say, "It can't break." When they break it(and they will), look at them, horrified. Say, "What did you do?" Refuse to speak to them for a week.
2. Draw smiley faces on dozens of eggs and keep them on one side of the room. Draw a sad face on one egg and put it on the other side of the room. Laugh at the sad egg.
3. Get a bucket of eggs. Try to play ping-pong against the wall with them. Get more and more annoyed each time one breaks. Complain loudly to the nearest person how they just don't make ping-pong balls like they used to.
4. Get a carton of eggs. Carry it with you everywhere, take it to bed, eat with it, take it into the bathroom, take it to class. If someone complains how bad they're starting to smell, shush them and say they'll hurt your friends' feelings. One day, get rid of the eggs but keep the carton. Make a big omellete that night for dinner. Refuse to talk about it ever again.
5. Get a chicken suit and a basket of eggs. Shave your head like a Hare-Krishna and wear the suit, minus the head, to the mall. Stand around, solemnly handing out the eggs to passersby. Chant.
6. Hold an egg behind your back nonchalantly. Walk up to someone you know and say, "Did you know egg shampoo is good for your hair?" After they respond, yes or no, crack the egg on top of their head, turn, and walk away. Do this to everyone you know until they collectively threaten your life. Say it was for their own good.
7. Plant eggs in strategic places. When someone is around, "discover" one. Freak out, smash the egg, then ignore the mess and act totally normal. Continue this for a few days. When someone asks, say you don't want to talk about it.
8. Tell someone you're going to show them a magic trick. Get an egg. Tell them you're going to show them how to pull an egg through a doorjamb. Put the person on one side of the door, tell them to put their thumb and finger through the crack in the door, above the hinges. Put the egg between their fingers, make sure that they have it and that they know that the carpet is new and clean. Walk away.
9. On a snowy day, find kids having a snowball fight. Roll some eggs in the snow so that they look like snowballs. Stand up and proclaim to the little kids that you are the High Ruler of the Universe and Commander of the Royal Snow Fleet and they'd better leave you alone. When they snowball you, egg 'em. When their mothers call, say "Madame, they were properly warned in accordance with the interspace laws of combat." Hang up.
10. Decorate your walls (and everyone else's) with pictures of chickens. Collect stuffed chickens. Build a shrine to chickens. When someone eats eggs, look at them harshly, shake your head, and mumble "murderer" and "baby-killer" under your breath. Do this until they give up and swear off eggs. Then take down all the pictures and serve them a big egg omellete for dinner.