It's not my fault.

It's not my fault for being a square peg, it's YOUR fault for making the stinkin' hole so round! Artificial resraints...it's your fault, you you you, you, I personally blame you!

I may be cracked, but I know one thing -- sanity is your single biggest constraint to getting it. To having a clue what everything's about. Get rid of it, shake it off, man, shake it off. If it won't shake off, beat it off with a stick.

Or a sledgehammer.

What are you WAITING for?!?!

That's the problem, that's the reason there's so much sanity in this stupid box of a world, people like YOU refuse to sacrifice a little. You you you, you I personally blame you!

Again!

"This box, right now, composes our universe, but our universe is only stuck in the inside of our heads and goes out in all different directions, in any direction 'till infinity." -- Micky the Crazee Monkee

Well, duh. Open your eyes people. If you won't open your eyes then open your Dramamine, 'cause you're gonna need it.

I have a parrot. His name is World. He's the World, the rest of the World. I keep him in a cage. When he dies, I'll take him back to the pet store. They will argue with me that he is only resting, but I will know better, and go on with my life. There's a metaphor in there, if you have the sight.

World tells me things. Mostly he babbles and asks for crackers(which I don't give him 'cause crackers are bad for him) and M&M's(which I do give him 'cause M&M's are good for everyone) and sometimes he says the sky is falling or the end is coming. I say "Who cares?" and give him an M&M. That shuts him up right quick. I don't listen to World. I have my own rules. I have too much to listen to anyway.

Read the Paperclip Story.

Dammit, open your eyes!! Hmmmm... Pardon me, where's the nearest camel? Oh, nothing, I've just got an idea...::laughs:: Stay tuned for Rachel's brilliant idea! In the meantime, maybe you'd like to see the Useless pages. These aren't mine, no no, not at all, hmmm-hmmm hmmm-hmmm-hmmm hmmmmmmmm.... Ever look around and think...where am I? Who are these people? God you're an idiot. What do you have, amnesia or something? Think of good questions. Answer 'em. Make up stuff. Who cares, so long as you like your answer. Example- Q: Can you get to the moon on roller skates? A: No, because you will always forget to equalize the mouse factor. Can't have too many fish clinging to your hair.

Me in a chicken suit when I was a wee littl' chicky. Click here for ten fun things to do with eggs.

Okay, so um, I owe this weirdness to lotsa people. Monty Python's Flying Circus is back on the telly, yippee!(no, I'm not British, I just play one on the telly) You can't watch this show and not come out of it really twisted. I like the Homicidal Blood-stained Barber myself. He should stop fighting it. Just give in.

Read a transcription of the Homicidal Blood-stained Barber Sketch.

Ever watch the Monkees? They're completely nuts, but, um, the fans are worse. Much worse. We have a saying on the mailing list... "I'm normal...Monkees normal."

Read a crazee Monkees fairy tale.

And um, okay, so the Malkavians are cool, they're the ones that made me really crazy. Too much role-playing, takes over your life and now, um, now I'm nuttier than a fruit basket.

Look at my character's entry in the Malkavian Directory.

But, Aha!, I've been able to weird out all the people I don't like and make them scared of me. Hmmm...

::Leads a camel out on stage on a long rope::
::The camel is dressed in a kimono::
::It spits at you::

Naughty, naughty, don't aggreivate the camel! I need him for my idea!

Stand by for Rachel's Idea!

0 THE FOOL Aleph, ox; Wynn, W, joy; Uranus. The Fool is a medieval court jester, required to entertain, but also to speak truths no one else would care to express. The wounded swan represents the fall from grace, the parting of humanity from the Garden of Eden. At the bottom is Earth. Divinatory meanings: Act impulsively. Follow your feelings. Surprise. Wonder. Excitement. Take opportunities that arise. Reversed: Difficulty believing in your instincts. Fear of stepping into the unknown. Do not be reckless. Card design and interpretation Copyright 1990 by US Games Systems, INC. From the Haindl Tarot Deck. No copyright infringement intended, I swear, please don't beat me with a stick...

"Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to...Strawberry Fields...Nothing is real...but nothing to get hung about...Strawberry Fields Forever..."
--Johnny Johnny Whoops Johnny Johnny Johnny Whoops Johnny

See, there it is...right in front of you. Nothing is real. Deal. Absorb it before I have to crack open your skull and force it in myself, and deal. Deal, deal!!!!!!!

I used to think lotsa people would look good fanged. Okay, so not all of them worked out, but take a look here for the ones I've tried so far.

I have an Indian, ah, pardon me, Native American, Headdress. I made it myself. I wore it to school one day 'cause I felt like it. Really shook everyone up, too. Good. Show 'em. Make 'em look twice, think twice, do twice, change THEIR STINKIN' MINDSET!!!

I like Tater-Tots. A lot. But they're nastybad for me.

::The camel spits a Tater-Tot at you::

"Is the sun shining in the middle of your night? Is your wonderland getting curiouser and curiouser, as young Alice would say? Is everything that you know...wrong? Good, that's exactly how it should be......yes, I'm talking to you......from nowhere, from everywhere." --Lucien LaCroix, one of my favorite denizens of the night

LEARN TO DEAL!!!!!

Everything on this page, except this section, is a lie or a misrepresentation of the truth....WAITAMINUTE!! What am I smokin' here? Truth doesn't exist, it's all point of view, so how can the truth be misrepresentated?

Shut up. All of you. Now. NOW, Now, now...now, Now, NOW, NOW!

"Shut up!"
"YOU Shut up!"
"No, YOU Shut up!"
"YOU Shut up!"
"Shut up!"
"YOU!"
"YOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUSHUTUPYOUSHUTUPYOU!!!!!!!!!"
"Okay....I WILL...."
--Micky the Crazee Monkee and his inner voices

While we're waiting for my stupid camel trick, why don't you look at THIS!
(It's a transcription of the song Alice's Restaurant Massacree. If you're not impressed, you've never heard the song.)

OR NOT! Fine then, just disregard all my hard work. It was for nothing, I did for my HEALTH! All that time, down the tubes, so you can say, "Oh, I don't feel like looking at that."

Look at it.

Now.

"You must un-learn what you have learned." --Yoda, the master of socially unacceptable grammer

Ah, finally someone who gets it! And does it surprise you that Yoda was a total nutbar? Good, very good.

But do you understand? Do you get it? Nothing in this universe has a set value. Nothing. Not even reality, 'cause obviously if I'm in mine and you're in yours, it's not a set value. C'mon, stop dallying, start seeing. And play the Moog, too, 'cause it's really cool and sounds like a spaceship.

<=^=>  <=^=>  <=^=>  <=^=>  <=^=>  <=^=>  <---Zlotnik Spaceships

What? The camel? Don't be silly, there's no camels around here, Ohee-ohee-ohee-oh. Oh, the one in the kimono, right. Well, you can forget that. He spit at me, so I bit him. CHOMP!!!....\(^^^)/

Page last updated Juluary 34, 1734.
E-mail me at ZephyrBlu@aol.com...if you feel you must...

"Strange music in the distance as your vision slowly fades, leaving the impression that you've pulled the Ace of Spades...." -- Me

This The MaLkAviAn MaDnEsS NeTwOrK Webring site is owned by
What's in a name? Besides letters, I mean.
Would you like to join The MaLkAviAn MaDnEsS NeTwOrK Webring ?
[Prev] [Next] [Random] [Next 5] [List Sites]

Spinning Ankh by Daveman and ShanMonster If you use their images please give them proper credit!